The Melbourne skyline came into view from a long distance away as we travelled along the highway past Geelong. It was an exciting view and we were really looking forward to exploring the city we had heard so much about. I had been in touch with my old school friend Ben who now lives in Melbourne and had arranged to meet for a beer later that evening. In the mean time we parked in East Brunswick, the district Ben lives in and bought some ‘Myki’ passes to ride the tram into the CBD.

We had done a bit of research into the city and as I say, we had been told a lot about it and had been given some tips, so after jumping off the tram smack bang in the middle of the city on Bourke st. we did what we do best when seeing a new city (no not get drunk…. yet) we just wandered around, seeing as much as we could along the way, with no real direction other than a few landmarks we hoped to take in. We both love this kind of exploring, you just seem to see things that you wouldn’t normally see when you don’t have a clear direction, it’s great and we can cover some distance in a day. In fact the perfect way to describe this is with a quote from the first thing we saw on our wandering tour of Melbourne. After venturing into an arcade between the main streets, we saw an exhibition of the art of Dr. Seuss and above the artwork said this “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. Oh, the places you’ll go.”

We lost ourselves in the laneways of the city, a unique feature that is trying to be emulated across the world. Each lane and arcade is different, but all have a really fun vibe about them, bustling cafes and small eateries, quirky shops and galleries, as well as artful graffiti all over the place. We stopped for a coffee and to have a quick looksy at a map to see where we were, then carried on through the lanes arriving at Flinders street station on the banks of the Yarra river. We carried on wandering and found ourselves at Hosier st. an empty street which was covered all over in incredible graffiti. There were plenty of tourists taking photos all the way along the lane, even one graffiti artist doing his thing on a patch of wall. This I assume is all legal as it hasn’t been covered over and no one seemed to care about the guy spraying the wall as we walked past. Also all of the artwork is pretty tasteful and there are some seriously talented people out there. Apparently Banksy has at some point been down there to put his art on the wall, but over time the walls get sprayed over by newer pieces of work and only exist now in photographs,which is quite a cool thing about graffiti and about that lane, its constantly changing, so we’ll come back next time we’re in town to see how much its changed.

We crossed the road from there into Federation square and saw a sign for a ‘Scorsese’ exhibit in one of the buildings, so we popped in. After quickly establishing that there was a hefty charge to see the works of Scorsese, we decided to just go to the free part of the museum, which I need to add was the ACMI, Australian Centre for the Moving Image. We had a quick wander and saw lots about the history of cinema in Australia and around the world, but having a lot of city to see, we weren’t going to stay too long, until we found ourselves in the interactive zone, where like little children, we spent ages playing around with the different features, including a 360º timeslice photo, the same feature first used in the Matrix movies.

Once we managed to drag ourselves from the kids area, we left the ACMI and crossed over the river onto the Southbank and carried on wandering down, passing lots of modern buildings until we arrived at the Crowne Plaza, a huge casino complex with lots of bars, restaurants and high end shops much like the ones in Vegas. We didn’t go in this time, we were getting peckish and had decided to go and re-explore the laneways, this time checking out which cuisine we liked the look of. We had picked up some food maps of the city from the Info centre and were trying to find some of the places they recommended, after lots more walking, we found ourselves at a Mexican restaurant called ‘Mamasita’. We got there at 4pm and later found out that we went at the right time, as normally there is a queue to get in. We sat by the window looking down on Collins st. and enjoyed some amazingly fresh Mexican food. We ate tapas style and had some sangria to wash down things like fish tacos, duck flautas, spicy lime chargrilled corn and other yummy dishes. We were well fed and left to wander up and north of the city to meet with Ben at a bar in Fitzroy’.

We had earned a pint or 2 by this point and so we did just that whilst catching up with Ben and meeting his girlfriend Neha, I think we both expected to have a couple drinks and then head off, but we had such a good time catching up and reminiscing about old times, like 2 old gits, that we ended up staying there most of the night before getting a taxi back to his place, which thankfully was only a few streets away from where we had parked Horace II. We stayed up until the early hours and then enjoyed a good nights sleep in a real bed, I did wake up once in the night and momentarily thought someone had stolen the van from around me when I reached out and found empty space, rather than the familiar hitting walls of the hearse like space we usually sleep in, a lovely hearse it is though.

The next day, after we had ruined Ben’s plans he had of going for a bike ride, instead waking up with a headache, we had a tour of some different areas of the city we didn’t see the day before. We started firstly at brunch, which was at a cafe called ‘Brunettis’. I say cafe, it was huge and it was packed. There were different cakes that went on for miles, then a huge coffee bar, followed by pastries, then savoury snacks and finally an ice cream stand. There was way too much to choose from including there brunch menu, so after walking the length of the place numerous times, we went for the obvious, Evie had a custard filled pastry and I had an Ice cream sandwich dipped in white chocolate, washed down with some pretty decent coffee.

We jumped in the car and Ben drove us south of the city, first taking in the sights of the numerous sporting stadiums, including the MCG, The Rod Laver arena, the AAMI arena and others I can’t remember the name of. We also drove through Albert park, taking in part of the F1 grand prix circuit before finally hitting the beach at St. Kilda. We could see the weather coming in across the bay and the win was bitterly cold, so we went for a wander around Luna Park, a very famous theme park, with hat looked like some pretty old attractions. We didn’t actually go on anything, just had a look around then left and ran for shelter at a nearby pub because of the passing heavy shower. After warming up with some chips and beer and waiting for the rain to stop, we went for a walk along the manmade beach. We saw one nutter going for a dip, apparently its lovely in the summer though, so maybe next time we’ll join him. We carried on out along the long pier and stopped for a coffee and a hot chocolate, to warm us up again, then quickly darted back to the car as the wind and rain had picked up again and we were in the most exposed part of Melbourne.

Ben and Neha took us back to their place and we chilled out for a while with some snacks and trashy TV. Later on though, we ventured back into the city to see what Melbourne had to offer at night. We separated as Ben and Neha were going to a party and I wanted to watch the rugby. Firsts things first though, dinner time! We walked through Chinatown and quickly settled (which is a miracle for us) for a nice looking busy place called ‘Gyoza Gyoza’. Tapas style again only this time Japanese. We had lots of dishes that I can’t remember the name of, but they included a seared tuna dish, some type of sashimi, gyoza’s obviously, steak and teriyaki chicken. Cue the obligatory photos from the world renowned food photographer Evie How.

Luckily it was a quick meal as the rugby was just about to kick off, we rushed off to find the nearest pub showing the game. Ben had just text to say that the party was going to watch the rugby too and were going to a pub called ‘The Elephant & Wheelbarrow’ so we quickly found it and got a seat near the box. After 10 minutes or so with Australia beating England by 10 points, it seemed as though we were the only English fans there, but soon enough as we started to come back, it was clear that there were more Poms than Aussies, either that or we were just louder. Ben and Neha had since joined us and we watched England beat Australia in their own backyard, awesome! This time in 2 weeks we’d be watching them live in Sydney.

Ben and Neha had ditched their party and continued their amazing hospitality by showing us one of their favourite spots in the city, a little hidden gem calls ‘Bomba’. It was a rooftop bar, only a short walk form where we were already, we entered through a restaurant, past all the diners to the back where we found a lift, this took us up to the bar on the top floor. The view was awesome and it was great to see a place we never would have found on our own. After a nightcap there, we jumped in a taxi back to Ben’s for another good nights sleep, oh not before having a donut, as Evie has just reminded me.

The following morning, Neha made us a slap up brunch of egg and bacon sarnies before we said our goodbyes for now and popped back into the city to brave the Queen Victoria markets. We took the tram in and got off in the centre of the city again, firstly braving the huge H&M store and the million shoppers crammed inside to find Evie a new jumper. Great success, we found one and so we walked to the market. We didn’t actually know what to expect, but once we had rounded the corner and saw the amount of people, we knew it was going to be a bit hectic. Following our noses we soon found a decent place for our morning coffee hidden among the many similar looking deli and cheese stalls. The smells were delicious, we could have spent a lot of time and even more money on the different produce on offer, but settled for a cuppa joe instead.

We carried on through the colourful fruit and veg stands until we arrived at the point that seemed to sell everything you could think of. Electronics, clothes, tat, gadgets, souvenirs, tat and plenty of tat. Luckily we’re on the same wavelength and both opted to not even bother going into this part of the market, instead looking for some lunch. There were some tasty things on offer and there was a Portuguese festival on as well, so there were lots of BBQ’s going, everything looked and smelled delicious, but the queues were way too long for us, I should mention that it was a long weekend in Australia so they could celebrate OUR Queens birthday (GB ought to take a leaf out of Australias book) so it was super busy everywhere. Realising this we left the market and went back into town to find somewhere with less of a wait. We walked a long way to find something we both fancied, even leaving one place when we couldn’t agree on the menu, finally we found ‘Rice Paper’ Vietnamese cuisine, again going for a tapas style lunch. Soft shell crabs, some kind of curry, wonton soup and some rice. Once again ‘bloody delicious’.

In the afternoon we had arranged to go and meet some of my family who I have never met before on my Dad’s side. My Great Uncle Richard Pannell and wife Sujatha, whom I have met a couple of times before back home, have live in and around Melbourne for most of their lives and so have their children and now grandchildren. Richard & Sujatha happened to be back in Blighty at the time but their family had invited us over to meet them and celebrate the eldest Grandchild Bella’s 18th birthday. So for the first time, we met Ravi and Shanta, my Dad’s cousins, there partners Andre and Neil, and their children Bella, Jai, Alex and Josh as well as their mad dog Zed.

As it turned out they lived just a few streets north of Ben & Neha, so it was a very short trip after we picked up the van to head to the party. It was great meeting them and their friends, we got to know each other and compared everything British with everything Aussie, time seemed to fly by and we were very kindly invited to stay the night at both Ravi’s house and Shanta’s, opting to stay at Shanta’s as we were already there, but thanks for the offer Ravi, no hard feelings. Another restful nights sleep, not on 4 wheels, although what am I saying, we love sleeping in the van, there’s just nowhere to camp in the cities.

The following morning after a cuppa and a pancake, we said goodbye and went for brunch again, apparently brunch is the most popular meal in Melbourne so we’re doing our best to fit in. This time we went to a small cafe in East Brunswick, between Shanta & Neil’s house and Ben & Neha’s house. It was called ’Toledo’ tucked away along Lygon street, it was very good, we had two different types of baked eggs which we shared, one was chorizo and cannellini beans, the other was feta and spinach, both were delicious and a lot more exciting than they probably sound.

Once we got back to the CBD, we visited Andrea who has a boutique clothing store called ‘Andrea Yasmin’ on Howey Place. It was a lovely little store with some really great looking, high quality womens clothes. We chatted for a while with Andrea who designs everything and has been there for 18 years, a testament to how great her store is. We said our goodbyes so she could help out a customer and we had arranged to meet up with Ben & Neha again to take in our first ‘Footy’ game, Aussie rules to me and you. We had both wanted to see one and had both wanted to go to the MCG, so this was perfect. It was now the Monday and as I said it was a public holiday, so it drew a pretty big crowd. Melbourne were playing Collingwood and we were honorary Collingwood fans, as that is who Sujatha supports and so does Neha, unfortunately they were thrashed, but it was great to see the game and we got the gist of what was going on pretty quickly, kick the ball between the posts for 6 points, or either side for 1 point, chase the ball, kick to pass, mayhem in between, no rules, pass like a volleyball serve, try and avoid the umpteen umpires and even more helpers in pink shirts running all over the pitch giving out water and aid, I think that’s how the game works anyway.

Burger for dinner for Ben, Neha and I at ‘Merrywell’ in the Crown casino, Evie wasn’t in the burger mood though so we left after we had eaten, Ben & Neha went home and we found a nice Italian place called ‘Cafe Andiamo’ where Evie had a easy Carbonara and we both had Hot Chocolates. We took the tram back to Ben’s, where they had once again kindly let us stay the night. Halfway back though, I had a brainwave and we jumped off the tram just in time to find ‘Brunettis’ where we had been for brunch the other day. We had probably indulged enough this weekend, but there was still room for an ice cream, I had caramelised fig and almond / chocolate hazelnut mmmmmmm, whilst Evie had the same Ice Cream sarnie I had the other day. We finally made it back with very full bellies.

It was a very early start the following day so we could say goodbye to Ben & Neha, who were back to work that day. It was great catching up with Ben and so nice to meet his lovely lady Neha, they were very good to us and we had a lot of fun spending our time in Melbourne with them, thanks again you two. Neha even gave me the latest 3 episodes of Game of Thrones that I hadn’t seen, for this I am eternally grateful.

For breakfast that day, which actually past brunch and made it to lunch, we visited ‘The Little Bear Cafe’ on Smith st. which is run by Shanta’s husband Neil. It was a great little spot, only in its fourth week I believe, really nice and bright inside with a great atmosphere and decor that Evie loved. We spent ages in their chatting to Neil over a delicious chicken with roast veg ‘jaffle’ (toastie) some good coffee and a brownie made by Shanta. It’s a really cool place and we wish you all the best for the future there. We finally hit the road before rush hour so we could make it to our next destination, Williamstown, just South-West of the city and actually the opposite way along out ultimate route, but there was a reason for our trip there.

Williamstown is where Richard and Sujatha live and they had kindly offered there home to us for the night as they weren’t there. They had a friend staying and housesitting whilst they were away but there was plenty of room for all of us. We arrived late in the afternoon and met their friend Greg who welcomed us in and made us a cuppa. We went out soon after to catch the end of the sunshine and make the most of the windless winter day by the sea. We walked along the seafront, messing around and taking nice photos, then Evie dropped her phone… iPhone number 2 broken on our travels. This didn’t dampen ur spirits though, the sun was still shining as we walked through the botanical gardens and eventually found ourselves at the shopping precinct. We thought we would make the most of the use of an oven, not being able to fit our AGA in the van as we had originally hoped, so we bought the ingredients for a roast dinner.

That night we had a delicious home made roast chicken with roast potatoes and veg, Greg seemed to appreciate the company and being cooked for I think and we had a lovely time getting to know him and spending the evening with him. We made the most of what would be our last night in a proper bed for a while and had a slow start the following day, doing some research into our trip, collecting the pillows we had left at Ben’s and looking for a new phone for Evie. Finally we made it out of the city at rush hour, the weather was perfect and we were hoping to make it to Phillip island to see the ‘little penguins’ which come back from sea at sunset, with the days being so short though, we weren’t going to make it so a last minute turn off on the motorway took us down the Mornington peninsula.

We’d heard good things about Mornington so it was actually a nice impromptu detour, the penguins could wait until the next day. We arrived at a derelict campsite near ‘Rosebud’ just as the sun was going down and with no sign of life at the office and all the amenities locked up, we decided to sleep here the night. The sunset was beautiful and if the forecast is anything to go by, could be the last time we saw the sun for a few days. An easy dinner of spicy chicken rogan josh kept us warm for the evening and I got to watch my missing episodes of Game of Thrones so I was happy.

We packed up and drove to a beach car park at first light and cooked our eggs and beans on toast with a beautiful view. We were in Sorrento, which is a lovely little seaside town and after washing our dishes in the sea, sand as a scourer, we carried on toward Phillip island, but not before taking in the best parts of the peninsula. We stopped at some of the ocean beaches on the south side and drove down to Cape Schanck for a walk down lots of steps to the stormy ocean shore. There were people there whale spotting and apparently they had just seen some a bit further up the coast heading our way. We walked to the lighthouse and stood there in the wind and rain watching out to see for quite a long time, but there were no whales to be seen and soon enough we were sufficiently damp so jumped back in the van.

We made it to Phillip island around 2pm, time for a snack of cheese and crackers in the town of ‘Cowes’ who have some kind of twinning with ‘Cowes’ on the ‘Isle of Wight’. The rain was on and off, but we were here for the penguins, so we drove down to the ‘Penguin Parade’ on the south-west corner of the island. This was the only place to see the penguins as it was home to a colony of 3,600 of them. Because of this, there was a fee to see them and judging by the amount of car parking spaces, we were here at the right time of year, in the summer there must be thousands of visitors.

The centre is a non-profit organisation which supports the different wildlife on the island, so it was nice to know that the $50 we paid was going to a good cause. We arrived at about 4 and looked around the penguin information centre, learning all of the facts we needed to know about ‘little penguins’. We had a photo taken with the penguins, ok it was a mock photo, but you can’t take photos of the penguins, so it was the best we could get, plus Hugh Jackman has done it and if it’s good enough for Wolverine, it’s good enough for us. At 4.30 the doors to the colony and beach opened, so we rugged up and walked down to the viewing area on the beach. There were a few penguins home but they were in their burrows waiting for their mate to come home so we couldn’t see them.

We sat in the front row in the best seats, according to ‘Dave the ranger’ and waited for it to get dark for the penguins to return home. There weren’t many people there, being winter and being wet and miserable, but penguins are waterproof so they were there whatever the weather, as are us Brits. Dave answered all of our questions and told us what to expect. The ‘little penguins’ come home from fishing after anything between a day and 3 weeks, once they have had enough to sustain them for a while. They also come out of the sea at dark, because they are so small at only 1 foot tall and can easily be picked up by predatory birds, which we saw patrolling the skies as it got darker. As it got darker and we got wetter, we could make out small black shadows coming closer to shore. We were really lucky with the tide time as well, with it being nearly at high tide just a few metres out and rising, so we could see the penguins swimming in quite close up.

They come in in little groups, safety in numbers, and eventually waddle onto the shores very awkwardly and even more cautiously. They are all looking around for any predators, sometimes all running as fast as they can into the sea if they get spooked by anything, it’s really interesting to watch and very funny at times, you’re rooting for them to go for it. Eventually the bravest one in the group leads the charge up the beach, you can just imagine what they are saying to each other, some being scared and indecisive, some brave warriors leading the attack, some looking behind them and not realising that the group has already moved so either quickly tripping over itself to catch up, or bottling it and going back to sea to wait for the next group. Some seagulls came along at one point who were only a little bit bigger than the penguins but just bullied them around an scared them back into the water, until Billy big balls penguin barged through and led the team to safety.

We had a great time and were the last 2 at the beach after 45 minutes watching groups come in and some individual penguins even going alone. We said goodbye to Dave and walked back through the colony, seeing the hundreds of penguins making it back to their nests and their mates, some still were looking after some bigger chicks but most of the youngsters were now big enough to fend for themselves. The noise of them all socialising was incredible, we had to stop at one point, because some of the penguins had learned a shortcut over the pedestrian boardwalk back to their homes, its a shame we could take photos, but its all to help protect the birds, plus you can only imagine what it would be like in the summer if you had thousands of tourists snapping away at the beach, they would be petrified and it would ruin the experience for everyone else. So there’s some photos from their website for you to see.

We left very happy, but freezing cold and with numb bums from sitting on the concrete steps, we had our ingredients for dinner already, but instead went for fish ’n’ chips in Cowes at ‘The Big Fish’ instead. Glad we did too because it was the best fish ’n’  chips both of us have ever had, lightly battered flake with fresh lemon and chunky chips, delish!